More Disorganized Ideas

More Unorganized Ideas: An Article that is Really the Ideas from my Tiny Composition Book from 2007 Finally Transcribed Into Electronic Form, Hey, Get Off My Back I Need To Save These Ideas Somewhere
by Klaus Varley

-Hard to make eye contact in LA

-Homeless people with glasses. How do they afford a vision plan?

-Kids will grow up to be gamblers if they play too many board games.

-Useless signs - things already illegal: "No blocking intersection," "No guns, drugs in the mall."

-Origins of adages are actually business principles, early Econ classes - "Bird in the hand is worth two in the field. How does that apply to mercantilism?"

-Cigarettes and lighters sold at gas stations. Fire near gasoline? And they sell more alcohol if that wasn't enough flammable liquid.

-Men are either detectives or warriors (no idea what this means, just reading off my notes)

-How can new rappers rap about mansions and Bentleys when you've never heard of the rapper? What was their prior occupation? Did they come from a wealthy family? Explanation needed in the lyrics.

-Same commercial twice in three minutes. Makes me hate the product. If I were a rival company, I would just make an identical commercial and buy the ad space right after my competitor. They would think it was a broadcasting error.

-When you're an adult you can still use the kids' toilet, the kids' water fountain, go on the kids' playground. Because what are they going to do?

-The next time someone says something mean to you, say, "That's no way to network." Then they might think you're someone important and apologize. If not, they will simply be confused, and that's a partial win.

-KV

Illegible and Unintelligible Ideas for Articles

Illegible and Unintelligible Ideas for Articles
Klaus Varley

Here are but a few of the scattered ideas written on scraps of paper and sometimes even in one the 3 1/4 in x 4 1/2 in composition books I purchased for the purpose of writing down scattered ideas. Each idea is followed by a parenthetical speculation of the idea's origin that may or may not be a complete fabrication

-One big eye = amazing (written after watching Clash of the Titans)

-Do yoga, look gay, get chicks (obviously written a long time ago, when I held the now unintelligible secret to how "doing yoga" and "looking gay" leads to "getting chicks")

-Some Japanese people look Mexican (written while racist)

-Cats don't cough (casual observation that could just be the one cat I observed)

-Budweiser tastes like my childhood (nostalgic reflection while drinking)

-Freak shows make money. Economically sound to be strange. (Reality show influenced)

-Faking it: What adults do for kids and other adults. No one is really confident about anything. (Faking confidence is a recurring idea in my daily life)

-If water comes out of the faucet too hot, avoid by ending the last usage with a turn on the cold. Or always wait a second. (Written after drying my hands and curing the faucet)

-No bumper stickers on my car - too much pressure; have to drive well. "Screw you, Obama supporter." "No signal? Who does this guy think he is? What does he like...Greenpeace? Screw Greenpeace." (Noted after having mixed feelings when an Obama supporter cut me off)

-The Home Depot logo - slanted - other slanted logos? Slanted Logo Series? (I always get ideas from The Home Depot - doesn't everyone?)

-Five life lessons learned by drinking: Anything tastes good after tequila; getting up early most mornings isn't so hard - try it with a hangover (Not sure when this came to me)

-Angry salesmen are hard to buy from - experience in Best Buy last summer. (More written details about said experience might have come in handy right about now)

-Used to think to give homeless people bluetooth to make them seem less crazy. Now, people with bluetooth (blueteeth?) appear crazy. At least the homeless people aren't getting cancer when talking to themselves. (Bus rides spawn articles ideas like nothing else)

-Power in friendships. Friendships give you power. Explain. (Listening to Tony Robbins makes everything about power)

-We cry when we are happy to hide our happiness from the gods. Or I read too much Pearl Buck. (I read too much Pearl Buck)

-Writing is a second chance to say what you want. Recreate the comeback. (Who says telling people off on YouTube can't lead to productive ideas?)

And...

That's it. For now. (Just thought of that)

Let me know which ones you like the best. And feel free to suggest new ideas not on this comprehensive list for future Brothel articles. Just drop a comment.

Better yet, write the article yourself and send it over. I'll post it for ya. No charge.

Seriously.

-KV