Klaus vs Parker: A Battle of the Texts

Klaus vs Parker: A Battle of the Texts

Though it's been around for seven or eight years, Brothel co-founder Parker Briggsmore only recently began utilizing the technology known as "text messaging." Probably because he just got an iPhone. (Apparently, it pays to lose your old Nokia brick phone in a movie theater.) -KV

[Please note: Grammar and punctuation left in original form, unless errors were not funny.]

KV: What's a good documentary to watch, give me a suggestion to ignore.

--One hour later--

PB: When the levees fell, best hurrican Katrina doc I have seen.
PB: It's a spike lee joint
PB: He says joints not movies

KV: Too late, no longer in video store.
KV: He does it because he's black
KV: And black people always change words
KV: Into drugs

PB: Don't mess with him, it's bad for your career.
PB: Clint Eastwood made letters from iwo jima and then got into a war or words with spike and then...
PB: Gran Torino

KV: I heard in Torino the asian acting is as good as it gets

PB: Pat Morita and George Takei take offense.
PB: Very slight offense.

KV: Seriously though, need advice - ate a giant burrito two hours ago, but still feel full. ok to swim?

PB: You will likely get cramps, but hey, do it for the laughs at the emergency room.

KV: PS. Tell Sulu I said hi before he leaves tonight.

PB: The cheap gay joke? I thought you were made of sterner stuff, Megatron.

KV: If that's what it takes for you to call me by my transformer name, there's more to come.

PB: Megatron is the undergrad you, now you are the mentally unstable Galvatron
PB: I am Unicron
PB: Destroyer of worlds
PB: Eater of millions

KV: When you buy a house does H know one bedroom is reserved for deceptacons and one for toys of the other group I can't think of their name because I'm not a geek about this shi...
KV: t, like you.

PB: It's decepticons and the autobots, and that geek comment doesn't work when the geek can choke you out.

KV: I'll still clown you on Criagslist.*

PB: Touche.

-TLB


*This is a reference to the multiple times Parker has been verbally assaulted on Craigslist by people who obviously have no sense of his size or temperament.