Conversation Between the Brothel Founders Over Spiderman and Other Pressing Issues

Circa 2002, a year or two into the life of the Brothel, Parker (cookieronsta_01) and Klaus (octoon101) had a long-distance conversation via AIM, discussing such grandiloquent fare as Javascript, Les Miserables, and of course, Spiderman. -KV

Original Intro: A conversation between two feuding souls. This one coming after a fierce IM warning battle in a post-Spiderman era...

...
cookieronsta_01: no more!
octoon101: my finger is on the warn button. Stop.
cookieronsta_01: well ease up tiger I have some good news
octoon101: me = intrigued
cookieronsta_01: my job is requiring that I learn how to program java for web pages and how to write scripts for dynamic flashing integrated thingamjiggies
octoon101: for use on the brothel?
octoon101: how did they know about The Literery Brothel - "Where Great Minds are Coming.."?
cookieronsta_01: you stupid beast, for one of my job programs
cookieronsta_01: but this will help the brothel in the long run
octoon101: i get it
cookieronsta_01: stupid beast
cookieronsta_01: you like that one?
octoon101: tu tiene mucho tiempo en la interneta
cookieronsta_01: si, pero cuando tu hables el significo es el pot dime el kettle "tu es negro!"
octoon101: como?
cookieronsta_01: exactamente
cookieronsta_01: mi pones mis zapatos en tu ano
octoon101: ok ok
cookieronsta_01: DONT TRY TO APPEASE ME WITH YOUR BULLSHIT CONDESCENSION!!!!!

octoon101: Ok. One question though: who am I?
cookieronsta_01: huh?
octoon101: I'm Jean Valjean!
cookieronsta_01: and I'm Javert!
cookieronsta_01: you made me laugh out lound in a quiet ass building
cookieronsta_01: I'm a super spy!
octoon101: "Do not forget me......Do not forget my name!!!"
cookieronsta_01: 2460 one!!!!!1
octoon101: JAVA is some funny shit.. tell them that
octoon101: dude, that's going to be my licenceplate
octoon101: with a heart
octoon101: and a handprint
cookieronsta_01: java is some funny shit is too many words unlike my original idea of putting 24601 one a liscense platye
cookieronsta_01: dont copy my idea tho
octoon101: 24601 is mine!
octoon101: i'll give you 24602
octoon101: or 2460ONE
cookieronsta_01: I'll take 2460one!
cookieronsta_01: me think faster
octoon101: me write faster
cookieronsta_01: with less gramma

octoon101: if we had a radio show we'd have to sensor it. and have an intern.
cookieronsta_01: no just you and me do a radio show
octoon101: "you bleep out the bad words"
octoon101: "motherfuckin' intern bitch"
octoon101: how many bad words there?
octoon101: yeah, we can pull some local shit when you move back to the motown
cookieronsta_01: feedback = "um yeah...your show is 60% bleeps..yeah"
cookieronsta_01: in seven years
cookieronsta_01: do radio show?
cookieronsta_01: lose edge!
cookieronsta_01: not poor anger like now
cookieronsta_01: NEED POOR ANGER!!!
cookieronsta_01: I PEE EVERYWHERE!!!!!!
...
cookieronsta_01: bring me the head of spiderman!
octoon101: your warning level has gone down a percentage!
octoon101: but mine remains the same :-(
cookieronsta_01: me nice guy!
cookieronsta_01: you dirty injun
octoon101: "Spiderman will pay for what he did."
cookieronsta_01: help me peter...
octoon101: "Pay with his sticky testicles." -Line cut from the movie. Writer's argument: He's a spider! That's where his web comes from.
cookieronsta_01: How about we just cut the scene one line before, then we wont lost that population who doesn't want to hear about sticky testicles? Sound good?
octoon101: but..but.. gosh darn it, you don't like anything i write.. (pouting)
cookieronsta_01: hey I went to the wall for you in the whole silky nuts debacle but I cant put my neck out there anymore
cookieronsta_01: what about at the end as tobey's walking away we have him yell out.."GOBLIN this is all you fault you CUM DUMPSTER!!!!"
octoon101: "Uh, look. This is a family movie, and we just can't have the word cum in there."
octoon101: "what about 'come to papa!!!"
octoon101: "No."
octoon101: "Come on Eileen?"
octoon101: "how did you become a writer?"
cookieronsta_01: what about instead of "Spiderman I will annally rape and then destroy you!" He just say's “I will destroy you,” how much of the story are we losing if we just go with that?
cookieronsta_01: like 30 minutes!
octoon101: "Do you want to be true to the fans, or not Raimi?"
cookieronsta_01: ok so the rape stays, but then we have to cut out the 2nd fight scene!"

octoon101: get ready...
cookieronsta_01: your warning fell
cookieronsta_01: let me put it back up there for you