From Inside a Republican Think Tank

From Inside a Republican Think Tank
by Klaus Varley

Please note: Codenames used. -KV

Please also note: Technically "code names" is two words. The one-worded "codenames" is actually a code name for "code names." And no, I would not make up this joke to just to avoid correcting a misspelled word. -KV

[McSame and McLame enter the room]

McSame: Did you hear that stupid shit that Palin said?
McLame: Which stupid shit?
McSame: Good one. The Katie Couric interview.
McLame: Goddammit, don’t get me started on Katie. It’s too early in the morning.
McSame: The question was, what do you read to get your information? Palin said, I read everything. Couric asked her to name one; Palin said, “I read them all.”
McLame: No, she didn’t.
McSame: She did.
McLame: Why didn’t she name some obscure Alaskan publication that Couric’s never heard of?
McSame: I don’t know.
McLame: How about Fox News?
McSame: Couric said "read."
McLame: (silence) What would you have said?
McSame: Some obscure Alaskan publication.
McLame: Yeah, me too.
[AceMcCain enters the room.]
AceMcCain: What’s up, people?
McSame & McLame: Hey.
AceMcCain: Did you guys hear that stupid shit Sarah Palin said?
McSame & McLame: Which stupid shit?
AceMcCain: Jinx.
McLame: We don’t have names. You can’t jinx us.
McSame: Yeah.. (to AceMcCain) What stupid shit, man?
AceMcCain: Nevermind. I’m so tired of this election. Our candidates suck.
McSame: Who, Father Time and Mrs. Moose-shit for brains?
AceMcCain: (sigh)
McLame: We gotta bring the focus back on Obama.
McSame: That’s right.
AceMcCain: Do you think everyone knows he’s black?
McLame: Yeah.
McSame: And that his first name rhymes with Osama?
McLame: They got it.
AceMcCain: What about his middle name – it’s Hussein for Christ-sakes.
McLame: Doesn’t matter so much anymore.
McSame: He was a rogue scholar.
McLame: You mean, Rhodes Scholar?
McSame: Same thing.
AceMcCain: I don’t think those are the same thing, but it doesn’t matter anyway, no one knows what either of those things are. What else?
McSame: He’s liberal.
AceMcCain: I guess. He doesn’t seem that liberal though.
McLame: He’s a democrat.
AceMcCain: True.
McSame: He’s popular.
AceMcCain: Tried it, remember? Apparently being popular isn’t a bad thing.
McSame: He’s dumb.
AceMcCain: Who’s dumb?
McSame: Obama.
[McLame and AceMcCain stare blankly at McSame.]
McSame: What?
AceMcCain: So, what are we going with this week?
McLame: Can we make things up?
AceMcCain: Is this a Rupublican think tank?
[Laughter]
McLame: He’s Muslim.
McSame: He’s Jewish.
McLame: He’s self-hating
McSame: He’s a self-hating Islamic Jew
McLame: He has met with self-hating Islamic Jews
McSame: He pals around with self-hating Islamic Jews
AceMcCain: Slow down…I can’t write this fast…
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