Fincher digs himself in deep + Oliver Stone's Ass

Fincher digs himself in deep + Oliver Stone's Ass
Langdon Auger

Yesterday morning I worked at a "Meet The Nominees" event for feature film directors. This mainly consisted of me showing up an hour late because my alarm clock didn’t go off and then standing around trying to keep people from jumping the velvet ropes into the good seats.

“No, you see, you have a green ticket. This means you have to sit over there next to the crying baby and the crack addict.”

“Oh, beige ticket? Right this way sir. Here, let me push these plebeians aside for you.”

An exciting morning altogether. I got to see the nominees; Danny Boyle, Ron Howard, Gus Van Sant, Christopher Nolan, and David Fincher. In addition to them, I saw Gus Van Sant’s parents and the president of the Directors Guild Michael Apted (coming soon to a Narnia movie near you). I said “hello” to him and he said “hello” back. It was awesome.

Then they took me out of the theater and I got to eat the really nice breakfast all the nominees enjoyed. When I went back in to listen to The Dark Knight director, I had to suffer through more drivel from David Fincher about Benjamin Button. I have heard him talk about it twice and I am now convinced he doesn’t care for the movie at all. He just made it because it was next on his list.

But I was standing in the back waiting for a seat to open up when lo and behold, the man sitting directly in front of me who got up to leave was Oliver Stone himself. As he left the theater, I stole his seat and enjoyed a few minutes of his ass warmth.

As fun as this was, all of this excitement brings up more questions than answers:

Why didn't my alarm go off?

Why are class struggles so prominent in a celebration for a labor union?

What is David Fincher's problem?

Is it creepy that I am excited about sharing the ass warmth of a celebrity?

Does Oliver Stone count as a celebrity?

Yes, I believe he does.

-LA

Oscar Predictions - Updated!

UPDATED OSCAR PREDICTION

Langdon Auger

This is an attempt to get my Oscar picks out there before the actual ones are announced on January 22nd. As opposed to the first time I wrote down a list of nominees, this time I will be manning up and picking a few winners.

Best Picture:

Slumdog Millionaire

The Dark Knight

The Curious Case of Blah Blah Blah

Frost/Nixon

Milk

Wnners: I want The Dark Knight to win, but Hollywood will not vote for a comic book movie. This will be one of those "honor to be nominated" things. For those that read my movie review of Benjamin Button you have an idea of the deep, unabiding, and passionate hatred that I hold for that film. Frost/Nixon is a good political drama but doesn't hold anything to give it an edge. Milk would be a good choice, and a relevant one especially in light of Proposition 8 and the failure of the academy to give the award to Brokeback Mountain. But most of the awards have been going to Slumdog, so I think Danny Boyle's film will win it. That's just as well, since it is a good movie that doesn't start with the words, "The Curious Case."

Director

Danny Boyle - Slumdog

Gus Van Sant - Milk

David Fincher - Curious Case

Christopher Nolan - Dark Knight

Ron Howard - Frost/ Nixon

Winner: Christopher Nolan should win; Danny Boyle will win. Which is just fine since he is a great indie director who has not had much mainstream recognition.

Actor:

Mickey Rouke - The Wrestler

Sean Penn - Milk

Frank Langella - Frost/Nixon

Richard Jenkins - The Visitor

Clint Eastwood - Gran Torino

Winners: Langella, Jenkins, and Eastwood are nominees only. And including Eastwood just shows my fear of nominating Brad Pitt for another Oscar lest his ego lead him to make even longer movies. Plus Eastwood says its his last role (which is what he said for Million Dollar Baby so we will see). I would say the odds are about fifty-fifty for either Rourke or Penn. Either way, one is the winner, one is the one who should have one. Again, Penn's role is more socially relevant, but he has already won an Oscar. So I will go with Rourke; everyone loves a comeback story and it's not a bad movie either.

Actress

Meryl Streep - Doubt

Anne Hathaway - Rachel Getting Married

Sally Hawkins - Happy Go Lucky

Kate Winslet - Revolutionary Road

Kristin Scott Thomas - some movie I never heard of

Winners: Simply because all the roles are so phenomenally dreary, I want Sally Hawkins to win for her not quite as depressing role in Happy Go Lucky. But as for who will win, it's anyone's game. Streep is great, Hathaway has a break out hit, and Winslet is a perennial Oscar favorite who has never won. I'm calling it for Winslet by a tear.

Supporting Actor

Heath Ledger - Dark Knight

Dev Patel - Slumdog Millionaire

Josh Brolin - Milk

Phillip Seymour Hoffman - Doubt

Eddie Marson - Happy Go Lucky

Winner: If the Joker doesn't get this award the streets of Los Angeles will be filled with rioting comic book geeks clutching their implements of destruction in one hand and their asthma inhalers in the other. Not even Kevin Smith will be able to sate the bloodlust of the crowd if this victory is denied.

Supporting Actress

Kate Winslet - The Reader

Viola Davis - Doubt

Amy Adams - Doubt

Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler

Penelope Cruz - Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Winner: If the award was given to most nude actress, Tomei would win in a landslide. Otherwise I think the award will go to Penelope Cruz while it should go to Kate Winslet (again with the Oscar snubbing thing. Also it would be hysterical if she got the award for a holocaust drama since she made a joke about holocaust dramas getting automatic Ocars in the HBO series Extras).

Check back in a few days and see how awesome I am.

-LA