Two from the Mailbag

Below are two letters that typify the stuff we get at The Literary Brothel. Alright, they are actually just our two most recent and coherent letters. The letters are followed by our responses. We also emailed the recipients our responses, that are similar to the responses below, but not necessarily the same. We also might have failed to mention that their letter would be posted on the site. Hey, we can't remember everything...can we? -KV

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Dear Klaus:

I'm just curious. Are you really going to send me a fedora, or was that just
a literary joke?

Cordially,
Michael Shorb
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Dear Michael,

Why the hell would I send you a...(memory kicks in)...oh, the poetry contest. Yes, that was a joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the free fedora.

Don't know that one? Me neither, actually. We'll send your fedora later this week. Thanks for the email.

But next time, ask in rhyme. Wouldn't that be cool? I thought all poets wrote in rhyme, like, all the time. Ha, time!

Thanks for the poem.
Something that rhymes with poem.

-Klaus

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Hello!

We thought you and your readers might like to receive a free full-length novel, Jumble Pie, a heartwarming story about two women, a friendship, and a pie. The author has two published novels (Penguin Putnam) and is providing this as a thank-you to readers!

"JUMBLE PIE is the story of the elusive nature of friendship, sometimes clinging, other times liberating; a story for any woman who has ever lied to her best friend just to make her feel better - and who has been brave enough to tell the truth, even when it hurts. And of course, it's a story about the remarkable healing power of pie."

Please visit www.melanielynnehauser.com/JumblePie to request a copy.

If you post a review of Jumble Pie on your blog, please be sure to let us know so we can link to it from the author's site and send some visitors your way!

Thanks & Happy Reading!
GreenApple Publicity

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Dear GreenApple Publicity,

We're not exactly sure why you believe a site called "The Literary Brothel" with the tagline "Where great minds are coming.." is a good place to promote your author's work, but hey, we'll give it a shot.

Wait, your email says we should READ the book and then offer a description. That sounds like a lot of work. How about we do like the old proverbs tell us to do, and judge that book based on its cover.

The Literary Brothel recommends "Jumble Pie," a animated exploration of the heart, the feet, and sidelong glances.

And who doesn't love sidelong glances.

So, there's your review, GreenApple. Hope you like it. Feel free to send more links to books in the future.

Love,
Klaus

PS. For future reference, if an author wishes for a real book review, all they need to do is send us the book. If it's good, we'll review it. Seriously.
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So that's it. Got something you don't want to leave in the "comments" section? Shoot us an email: literarybrothel@gmail.com

-KV