Google has the Best April Fools Jokes

Last year it was "get your emails in print form" which I thought was a cool idea, but apparently was in the minority.

This year I was not fooled. But oh, how funny! From gmail.com:

Gmail AutopilotTM by CADIE

Email will never be a thing of the past, but actually reading and writing messages is about to be. Gmail Autopilot automatically manages your inbox better than you can, with zero effort from you.

Keep in Touch

Brand-new CADIE technology enables Autopilot to scan every one of your incoming messages and automatically send the perfect reply.

Manage relationships

Impress everyone with your prompt and insightful responses to everything from urgent notes from your boss to cute messages from your significant other.

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Autopilot calibrates for tone, typos and preferred punctuation. It's just like you, but automated.

Go HERE for more about CADIE

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Nice. The only question left: How much money does Google spend each year creating an April Fools joke?

I'll do it for half the price.

Unless that price is zero.

Okay, I'll do it for half of zero.

Because if anyone can find half of zero, it's Google.

Seriously.

-KV

Google Logos are OOC / Who the ef is Chagall?

Sometimes the changing of the Google logo on its homepage throws me off, distracts me, makes me forget what I was about to search. Like the one above, dedicated to some one-named artist called "Chagall." I was going to search "Parker Briggsmore Real Name" but instead I searched "Chagall."

Oh, that guy.

However, I have to admit when I saw the 4th of July Google with fireworks I let out a quiet "woo woo" and threw up my hands like I was at a party. (Raise da roof)

But I was not at a party. I was alone. In my apartment.

That is all.

Who's emailing my girlfriend

Who's Emailing My Girlfriend
by Klaus Varley

Of all the Google searches that landed on The Literary Brothel this past week, "Who's emailing my girlfriend" has to be one of the strangest.

Did the desperate guy (or desperate lesbian) who wrote it really think Google had the answer? "I hope there is a website that keeps track of all the people who email my girlfriend..."

Even if a website like that existed, wouldn't you have to at least include your girlfriend's name in the search? Or does the searcher believe Google has ALL the answers, including who YOU are, who your girlfriend is, and who is emailing her?

First off, if Google DID have that information, they would never, ever tell you. They would always play dumb. In fact, your searches would look much the same as they do today.

Second, if Google decided to use its limitless power (side note: we love you, Google), it would still refuse to give you that information. Google, in its infinite wisdom, would know that you are not only undeserving to find out who is emailing your girlfriend, but are undeserving of your girlfriend. Period. After all, it's not a great sign when you go behind your girlfriend's back to find out what's in her Inbox.

Google would know all this, and thus would not give you the answer. Google cares. And so, Google ignores.

I can't speak for Google, but here's some advice from your friends at The Literary Brothel: if you want to know who's emailing your girlfriend, ask her. If she won't tell you, don't ask Google, just get out of the relationship.

On the other hand, do you REALLY want to know who's emailing your girlfriend? Isn't it more important whom she's emailing? Then you can memorize anything that she writes to a guy that sounds remotely flirtatious, and throw it back in her face during your next argument. What if there isn't a next argument? In your relationship? C'mon...

The lesson is: next time, ask Google the right question, and Google might give you the right answer.

But it's really up to Google.

-KV