Ten Reasons to Vote YES on Prop 8 - California's "Protect Marriage" Proposition

In case you needed a reason to keep homosexuals from marrying one another, here is not just one reason, but ten! Enjoy! (Please note: Reasons 1-3, 6 and 7 are from the Yes on 8 website. I could not make them up. Believe me, I tried: see reasons 4 and 5, 8-10) -KV

1. Californian's Passed Prop 22 in 2000 to ban gay marriage but judges overturned it, calling it "unconstitutional," whatever that means. Seriously, if history teaches us anything, it is that we should always do what we've done before...and by that, I mean take away the rights of people who are different than us.

2. The judges that overturned Prop 22 were "activist" judges. And by activist, we mean gay. We checked. And by "checked," I mean we stole their wallets. Their "gay club" card was right next to their "activist club" card. And they didn't have much cash.

3. These "activist" judges were based in San Francisco. Sin City! What...apparently that is Las Vegas. And a movie. Well, it's definitely Sin City 2 then...until the movie comes out.

4. San Francisco is so gay that if you go there you might question your own sexuality and the sexuality of Jesus...or at least admire Jesus for his great abdominal muscles. There was a point here, but I'm not sure what is it...

5. San Francisco makes you forget the point you are trying to make. It's that bad.

6. We're undermining marriage at a point where we should be restoring marriage. I don't know what this means, but it sounds sorta-rational. Believe it!

7. First Graders were Taken on a Field Trip to a Gay Wedding. First-graders shouldn't have to go to ANY weddings, let alone gay ones because weddings are freaking BORING without booze.

8. I don't like to think about two guys kissing. Two women? That's another story. Have you seen BOUND with Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly? See, that's a beautiful relationship...and they didn't need to get married!

9. Gina Gershon is smokin' hot in that movie. That just needed to be said.

10. If we let homosexuals marry, we'll be making the terrorists happy. See, because terrorists hate freedom and we're the bastion of freedom...and though if Proposition 8 passes we'll be taking away a freedom, well, see, it's the kind of freedom the terrorists like. Look, I don't really have time to explain all the statues and limitations to you...just vote Yes on 8 to keep two guys from kissing, ewww, seriously, that's disgusting can you imagine what they do in their bedroom, no don't think of it, stop! my point is that gays are destroying our country that was founding on liberty, justice, and heterosexuality - before that word was even invented! And don't forget, marriage is a religious issue, even though it's a civil matter - again, can't explain it, just trust me. Lastly, Jesus was not gay, even though his "disciples" were all guys, stop spreading that rumor and vote Yes on 8 so guys can't kiss...what? they can still kiss? Just wait till next election...

-KV