A Long Drunken Rambling Post

Thought we were just going to post on Tuesday and Thursday this week as per our stated pattern from our first post? Surprise! Happy...week after Good Friday. Yes, this is how we celebrate the end of Lent. Doesn't everybody? -KV

A Long Drunken Rambling Post
Klaus Varley

I know what you're thinking. "A long drunken rambling post, as opposed to what? Your short sober blog posts? Your posts aren't short, and don't sound sober most of the time."

In the words of the venerable Baron Davis as quoted in the Daily Bruin circa 1997, "Slow your roll."

But maybe you're not thinking about the normal state of our posts. Maybe if your name is Minnie Grey you're thinking, "There should be commas between 'long' and 'drunken' and 'drunken' and 'rambling.'"

You might be right, Minnie. But we'll never know.

Anyhow, let the long drunken post begin! (Hint: it has already started.)

A Long Drunken Rambling Post For Real This Time
From the venerable Klaus Varley

I used to go to poetry readings in Westwood at Iso Cafe when it was called RelaxStation. Now you might be thinking, "RelaxStation is a stupid name for a cafe, no wonder they didn't last." Really? "Iso Cafe" is so much better? [1]

By whatever name, it's a two-story coffee house that serves sushi and bunch of other asian food that doesn't go with sushi.

And some nights it serves up poetry.

This night, the poetry was hosted by a poet known only as Snowplow. I soon found out her real name was "Katie." Anyhow, "plow" was cool, but nearly always did the same "Hello Kitty" poem where she explained her experience as an Asian female, growing up in a world that expected her to not have a mouth - a la the Hello Kitty doll - via the hip-hop art form known as slam poetry .

Where the hell am I going with all this? I'm not asking you, I'm trying to reorient myself. [2]

Just relax....RelaxStation...ah ha!

So, I went to the night hosted by Snowplow a few times, but I would never do a poem. Too intimidated. The other poets were too good, and by "too good," I mean some of them were really good, and other ones were okay, with a few being not bad, and one guy just asking us if we wanted more drinks, but he stuttered so it sounded like a poem. Yeah, even that guy was intimidating.

But today, thinking about the long defunct poetry readings, I have a thought: I should have written a poem.

I can write a poem.

How hard is it to write a poem?

I thought back, and imagined myself going up there, in front of the slam poets, and saying something like:

You fuckers
are intimidating
I usually just sit back
in the back
row
and listen

But listen

Tonight
I'll try
but probably lose
confidence but
it's not art
it's a start
or
beginning
leave them wanting more

That simulated "poem" took WAY too long and now I'm fading, off to bed, and sorry I couldn't wrap this up with something clever - maybe in the edit. You never now.

-KV

[1] Holy crap, in looking up how to spell "RelaxStation," I found this site which is dedicated to "the best of LA: good eats, good people, good things to do." A quick search on their site comes up empty for "WestSubs" and "A Video Store Named Desire" which means that our running series Best Things About LA can continue. Obviously this is the only instance where our tastes will cross paths. And for their information, Iso Cafe is NOT one of the best things about LA. That site sucks. Do not click the link above.

[2] When I say "reorient" it's not because Snowplow is Asian. How would that work? Sure, the word "orient" is in "reorient," but it means something completely different. Yet I can see how the average, hypersensitive, politically-correct, Asian-American studies majoring reader might raise an eyebrow or two about that word choice. Hell, it'd be a lot easier to just go back and change it than continue writing this footnote, but what's done is done. And this footnote is done. If this is the last thing you read because you didn't bother scrolling down when you encountered the "2" during the post, then this post is also done for you. If you're not a lazy reader, scroll back up and continue reading - oh you have yet to read the treasure that is the slam-poem contained within! It is not to be missed!
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