The 10 Worst Facebook Status Updates of My Friends in the Past 24 Hours

The 10 Worst Facebook Status Updates of My Friends
in the Past 24 Hours

by Klaus Varley

If you see your name here, sorry, I forgot to change it. -KV

10. Kerri...had a fun evening out with the ladies!

Which ladies? What did you do? Aaaaaaah, the suspense!

9. Adam...doesn't like his fantasy baseball team

The season hasn't even started yet and you're complaining about a fantasy team you're coaching? You, my Facebook friend, are a spoil sport.

8. Sam...still loves Hall & Oates!!

You wouldn't have made the list if you had used one exclamation mark, but two? For Hall & Oates? They can't hear you, Sam. But the god of lameness can.

7. Sherry...feel people either love me or hate me, there is no in-between, where do u stand?

I stand in the pro-grammar camp.

6. Meg...is driving to Berkeley.

This update is not so bad, just dangerous.

5. Alex...2 down, 1 to go. Sigh.

Should I trace the history of your status updates to figure out what you're talking about? No. I can tell by the "sigh" you think I should. But we're more like Facebook "acquaintances" than Facebook "friends."

4. Louisa...feeling sniffly... oh, not a good time to be getting sick!

Unlike all the great times to get sick? (First day in prison, after the big test, etc...)

3. Mike...I'm happy I got an good grade on my spanish test and have no cavities! Who knew Mondays could be good.

If you think that's a good day, just wait until Tuesday: dollar tacos.

2. Katherine...craves Coldstone cupcakes.

Coldstone has cupcakes? I thought it was Coldstone's? This update makes me hungry for the unknown.

1. Klaus...is hungry. For the unknown.

Avoid impromptu status updates or risk ending up on a "Top 10 worst status updates" list.

-KV