Use Duracell or your child will be Kidnapped

Welcome Horace Worblehat to The Literary Brothel! If readers are thinking that the name "Horace Worblehat" sounds fake, well, that's because it is. However, I assure you there is a real person behind the name, and that person is not me. Seriously. -KV

Use Duracell or your child will be Kidnapped
by Horace Worblehat

Watch this short clip:




What it means: if you do not purchase the correct batteries, your child will be taken from you while you are at the park so you have to options: buy Duracell or stop going to park.

This commercial brings up more questions than it answers. For example: where did the child get the red balloon? Why is he so happy with his red balloon? Can I have a balloon? Fuck him and his red balloon.

Also, is that woman really his mother, or just some lady using the child for drug smuggling purposes and that's why she has him hooked up to an expensive tracking device?

All of these questions have very disturbing answers. The child received the red balloon from the free red balloon man who gives free red balloons to all the children of the world. He has also been charged with - but never convicted of - pedophilia. I can’t have a red balloon because Free Red Balloon Man thinks I’m too old. Fuck him.

-HW