National Contact Registry Can Suck It

National Contact Registry Can Suck It
Klaus Varley

Last week it was discovered that due to a bookkeeping error, we failed to renew our custom domain (www.theliterarybrothel.com) before it expired.

The bookkeeper has subsequently been fired, and all books burned.

Okay, no books were burned, but a bridge was.

The bridge was metaphorical.

It was between the bookkeeper and us.

Moving on.

What happens when a domain name expires? What is supposed to happen, is that the page goes blank and all the content it taken down. This is why we have no beef with Yoshiaki Oshima, who bought literarybrothel.com when the prior bookkeeper lost that one.

But this time when we, I mean, our bookkeeper forgot to renew the site, an entity with the legitimate-sounding name of "National Contact Registry" swooped in and scooped up www.theliterarybrothel.com. (Or however it happens. I imagine a virtual pooper-scooper.) Which was fine, until we realized they kept all of our content up.

Apparently this is what they do - steal people's content, and hold the original page for ransom - as evidenced by this post from a poetry website that had the same thing happen to them. (Not as crass as us here at TLB, they chose a much more literary title for their piece, giving it the poetic name,"A Bunch of Shit.")

But will we pay the ransom and try to get our content taken down? No way. (See title.)

Instead, here are some quotes from their own website, and a few snarky comments that prove that you don't have to be a teenager to think like one.

From NCR's website:

"National Contact Registry offers exposure to internet business's throughout the United States by providing a community based approach."

Good to know. And good to know how NOT to use an apostrophe.

"We have helped thousands of businesses throughout the United States. If you are a business owner and you found National Contact Registry, that proves our online marketing skills."

Or it proves that if you surf the internet long enough, you can find anything.

"Helping small to medium-sized companies is our specialty. We do this by providing an affordable way to touch thousands of consumers. By collaborating closely with consumers needs, National Contact Registry is able to confidently provide clients with exposure that every business deserves."

Yet there is no contact information - nor company history - on the site, only a shady form where you enter all YOUR information.

"If your website is not found on the internet your online business is going to fail!"

Unless you are in the business of failing. Then you will succeed!

"Being profiled in one of the largest internet registries will not only increase your exposure but your business."

That reminds me: I need to register the site with directory.google.com.

So what have we learned? Domain speculation is big business. Or at least "business."

And we need another bookkeeper.

With a bridge.

Any takers?

-KV