Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Tiger Woods's Ten Best Pick-Up LInes

Klaus Varley

The jokes are arriving a little late, as the media - and everyone we know - are slowly diverting their attention away from Woods to petty updates about the health care bill and global warming. Oh well, cant' say we didn't try. -TLB


10. Hi, I'm Tiger Woods.
9. Want to see my driver?
8. By "driver," I mean my "golf driver," not my chauffeur.
7. By "golf driver" I mean my penis.
6. Nice hair. I've never dated a blond before.
5. Can I use five of my billion dollars to buy you a drink?
4. I can make you famous. That is, if you sleep with me and/or save my voice mails and text messages.
3. Did you know Tigers can make love for ten hours at a time? Yes, I did make that up.
2. Fore!...some. Thoughts?
1. Just do me.

-KV

ps. Below is on of the pics of Tiger Woods' wife Elin Nordegren that has guys across the nation doing the "what was he thinking?" scratch of their heads.


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