Klaus Varley on Twitter

In case you didn't get it, the title "Klaus Varley on Twitter" has two meanings - Klaus Varley using Twitter AND Klaus Varley writing about Twitter in this post. -KV

We got it. -Charlie Luzon, on behalf of everyone with eyes.

Hey, you said something funny. Record this in the history books. -KV

Just start your piece. -Charlie

One last question. Do you Twit--(Message truncated -ed.)

Klaus Varley on Twitter
Klaus Varley

Not one to jump on the bandwagon too quickly, we waited until the wagon was out of site, through the Donner pass, and safely at Grandma's house before seeing what this "Twitter" was all about.

If you have a Twitter account, please ADD ME or FOLLOW ME or whatever the hell you do, 'cause I have like TWO friends.

http://twitter.com/KlausVarley

If you don't have a twitter account, don't know what I'm talking about, also lost the wagon a while back, take a deep breath and click the link below:

http://twitter.com/KlausVarley

It's painless. Just click, create a password, and you're up and running.

On Twitter, people write what they are doing. Or a thought that comes to their head. Then their followers see these short posts.

It's a lot like Facebook status updates.

In other words, it only works when people do interesting things or have entertaining thoughts.

I, Klaus Varley, will do my best to follow these self-imposed guidelines.

Looking for other people to follow? Michael Ian Black is funny. Shaq is funny (without trying). Wil Wheaton is kinda funny (but way nerdy).

People I would follow on Twitter if they had an account:

Barack Obama (oh wait, he does of course.)
John McCain
Kim Jong-il
Jenna Bush
Tom from MySpace
Bill Gates

I could go on, but I think we've learned a valuable lesson from this list of important and famous people: there is great comedic potential in fake-celebrity Twitter accounts.

Seriously.

-KV

Wil Wheaton Poll Results

A little while back we posted this poll:

Did you know Wil Wheaton before we mentioned him on this site?

1. Wesley Crusher, of course!
2. Gordie from Stand by Me, of course!
3. Yes.
4. No.

The results? A tie! 50% of respondents knew Wheaton as Wesley Crusher, and 50% did not know him at all.

Not know him at all? I've got two words for ya: Toy Soldiers.

What? Never heard of it? Were you even in your awkward adolescent stage in the late 80's or early 90's?

No? Well, that explains something...

-TLB

The Literary Brothel's New Year's Resolutions

Because we're always looking forward, or at least WANT to always be looking forward (see Resolution #7), here is a list of all the things we at The Literary Brothel hope to accomplish in 2009. -KV

The Literary Brothel's New Year's Resolutions

1. Edit and release that damn Best of The Literary Brothel book you've been promised for eight months now.

2. Respond to ALL comments made on our posts. It's one way to thank people for reading, and/or anger them so they curse our name. Hey, at least they'll be saying our name.

3. Exercise regularly.

4. Write post after post with "Wil Wheaton" in the the title as to attract Wesley Crusher himself to the site, and Brothelize a small percentage of his legion of internet fans.

5. Name names.

6. Search for other creative writers. Find at least two other people who are NOT Klaus Varley to write for the site on a regular basis. Reward them with fedoras.

7. Find out what "the kids" are listening to these days. Emulate them. Become cool, but act like you don't care about superficial things like "coolness." Then return to normal, shun your new friends, and convince your old friends that you never forgot about them, even when you were cool. That's looking forward.

8. Write a recurring piece covering the best things about LA. Yes, I said "recurring." There are a lot of great things about LA. I'll show you, you naysayers...

9. Finish that screenplay, sell it, and move to the beach. I mean, closer to the beach.

10. Remember that "New Year's" as in "The Literary Brothel's New Year's Resolutions" has an apostrophe "s" and is NOT spelled "New Years Resolution." Not that I did that this year and had to go back and correct it. Not at all.

-TLB

--
What do YOU want to accomplish next year (besides procrastinating all that work nonsense by reading The Literary Brothel at least twice a week)?
--

Los Angeles Metblog featuring Wil Wheaton

If you're not familiar with Metblogs (and stubbornly refuse to click links on websites with "Brothel" in their name) they are one of those multi-blogger sites where a bunch of people chime in on a shared topic. On Metblogs people blog about their city. (In case you couldn't tell by its name)

Sounds boring, right?

Actually, it is. Mostly.

On the Los Angeles site (LA.Metblogs.com) there are a predictable number of postings on traffic, sushi, but other shout outs to things like the LA Auto Show - not what you'd expect from a city filled with hipster bloggers, m-i-rite?

That's because LA Metblogs has so much more than hipsters.

It also has movie stars.

That is, if you consider Wil Wheaton a movie star. Which of course, we here at The Brothel, proudly do. Wesley Crusher? Gordie from Stand by Me? Wheaton - if you've been following him (and I know you have, don't lie) - has truly gone where no man has gone before, transitioning from actor to blogger to author, and consistently dabbling in all three.


Don't believe me? Check Wil Wheaton's Blog that is far more popular than The Brothel or even LA Metblog.*

I know what you're thinking - how much did Wil Wheaton pay you to write this?

Answer: Nothing. Not everyone in LA is friends with a celebrity.

But didn't you say you were friends with that guy from Harold and Kumar?

Yeah, okay, everyone in LA has ONE celebrity friend; but Wil ain't mine.

Unless Kal keeps ignoring my calls. Then you never know.

-KV


* Google Rankings: WilWheaton.net = 6; LA.Metblog.com = 3; TheLiteraryBrothel.com = 4. Seriously...