Thursday, May 21, 2009

Owen Gleiberman Should Apologize for his Review of Let the Right One In


Owen Gleiberman Should Apologize for his Review of Let the Right One In

Klaus Varley

Unlike a lot of Owen Gleiberman haters out there, I LIKE Entertainment Weekly. It's one of the few magazines that lives up to its name on two levels: it's entertaining AND it's about entertainment. (And it comes every week...I suppose that's three levels.)

But browsing Meta-Critic I came across reviews of the Swedish vampire flick Let the Right One In (Langdon's review can be found here). Every professional critic listed on the site except one rated it above seventy - three gave it perfect scores of 100.

Over at Rotten Tomatoes, 25 of 26 top critics gave it a "Fresh" rating. It's overall rating: 98%.

Who was the only critic to rate it under 70 on Meta-Critic? Who was the only critic to give it a rotten tomato on the site of the same nomenclature?

Owen Gleiberman of Entertainment Weekly.

Now I'm all for critics standing on their own. But if a movie is well made, you're going to have to have your reasons. Owen's reasons? Well, I'll let him speak for himself.


EW.com
Movie Review - Let the Right One In
by Owen Gleiberman

According to the new school of cinematic dread — it kicked in over the last decade with J-horror films — a fright flick is eerier if it doesn't make sense. If random arty blood thrills are your cup of fear, perhaps you'll enjoy Let the Right One In, a Swedish head-scratcher that has a few creepy images but very little holding them together. A serial killer, who bleeds his victims in public places (Why? Who knows?), has a 12-year-old daughter who's a vampire. Who befriends the blond boy next door. Who skulks through the movie in a blank-faced torpor that will have you screaming...for something coherent to happen. C
Non-spoiler-but-if-you're-Owen-Gleiberman-this-might-seem-like-a-spoiler Alert: the "serial killer" bleeding his victims was getting blood for the girl so she didn't have to kill people. Damn man, he lives with a vampire, didn't you think that was an awfully big coincidence?

The blond boy doesn't skulk through the film - he gets beat up by bullies, has his life threatened.

I'm not even going to go into the question of whether or not that is his daughter. You definitely didn't get that.

How did Owen miss all this? Luckily for our readers out there, we recorded the events of the day on hidden camera (and microphone).

--
Film critic Owen Gleiberman sits at his desk playing Minesweeper. His editor knocks on his cubicle wall. Gleiberman quickly changes the screen to a review of Rachel Getting Married.

Editor of EW: Hey Owen, where's your review for that small indie-vampire movie?

Owen Gleiberman: You wanted that today?

Editor: Yeah, remember?

OG: But uh, no one is going to see that movie, do we really need to review it?

Editor: Unfortunately, yeah. It's apparently a big deal to Sweden, so they got his Swedish PR firm up our ass about it. You saw it, right?

OG: Of course.

Editor: Great. Just give me a couple hundred words by five. No big thing.

OG: It's four-thirty.

Editor: Like I said, no big thing.

OG: Cool.

Editor leaves.

Owen makes some calls. None of his friends or relatives has seen it.

FUCK! He thinks.

Owen gives a quick glance around the office then pops the DVD in his laptop, hits play 2x button.

Not fast enough. Fast forward - 4x.

The movie flies by.

His mind races. "Killing. Stylish. What are these kids talking about? No time to read the subtitles. Arty vampire movie. Violence. Whatever, no one is going to see this."

Owen types up his review and sends it over to his editor.

"Screw Sweden," he says as he packs up his things and heads out the door.

---

Alright, so I ran out of things for Owen to say...I mean, that's what our camera and microphone recorded him saying...

Regardless of the accuracy of the above scene, this is one of those times that a critic should bite the bullet and rewatch a well-reviewed movie. All the way through this time. On regular speed.

And then apologize to Sweden.

We all make mistakes. We all have deadlines. We'll forgive you, Owen.

But first you have apologize.

-KV

2 comments:

Langdon Auger said...

i bought a subscription to entertainment weekly, i really regret doing it. every issue there is maybe one article worth reading and the rest is about dresses and red carpet crap

Klaus Varley said...

Hey man, I like EW...but yeah, they can do with less red carpet and more independent movie reviews (or good movie review, ie: see my piece above). But hey, celebrity pics sell...

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