Misunderstandings with film, television and spirits:

Misunderstandings with film, television and spirits
Horace Worblehat

On Woody Allen Films Woody Allen films annoy me (even though they're good): Why? Why would I say anything bad about Woody Allen films ever? Why for god sakes? It’s because sometimes they make me feel stupid. There I said it. I have to stop pretending and just admit I don’t know half the references. Have your conversations about Freud Woody Allen and live your upper class Manhattan life you smarmy bastard, I’m going to read OK! Magazine and eat a tube of meat.

On Meade Meade got hyped up to me so much when I was a child. Whether it is from renaissance fairs, television or celebrities, I have been inundated with pro-Meade propaganda my entire life. Yet when I try Meade myself it was so disappointing. How can something that is both honey and wine be bad? I just don’t understand. Kids, stay off the Meade, say no to goblets.

On Road House and Point Break Apparently cleaning up a roughneck bar means murdering half the town. Also being an FBI agent who plays by his own set of rules may in fact garner results.

On the original Star Trek series The original Star trek series is lauded about a bit too much. Watch the first three episodes and you will see Spock speak into a post it note, Ohura sings for no reason in what appears to be a staff lounge, and George Takai as Sulu running around shirtless with a fencing sword and having the following strange conversation with his shipmate:

SULU: Don't know if it's this planet or what happened with Joe. I'm sweating like a bridegroom.


RILEY: Yeah, me too.


SULU: Hey, why don't you come down to the gym with me, Kevin m'lad?


RILEY: Now?


SULU: Why not? Light workout will take the edge off.


RILEY: Sulu, what about. Hey, Sulu, don't be a fool!

Bridgegroom? Gym? Light workout? M'lad? Why George Takai? Why?

On Daytime television I tried to watch Ellen because it won an Emmy and I could not watch an entire episode due to the following reasons; too much dancing, she is too nice, and homosexuals have tar not blood that run through their veins for the devil has crafted their sinful bodies as portals to hell. Scratch the last part and replace it with 'the pictures of cute animals she shows I can get online anyway.'

Seriously.

-HW