Friday, January 30, 2009
Elliott Smith Dedication - Without Smith
This was written shortly after Elliott Smith's tragic death on October 22, 2003. It relies a lot on quotes, but we like it anyhow. -KV
WITHOUT SMITH
Charlie Luzon
“You only live a day, but it’s brilliant anyway.”
Elliott Smith is dead. Killed himself. Los Angeles. Musician. Found by girlfriend. Los Angeles. Suicide. Girlfriend. Elliott Smith is dead.
That’s as much as I understand, or care to understand. None of it matters anyway, except the first and last parts.
“Everything means nothing to me.”
My roommate told me the news after we came home last night. I don’t know if he knew the hole night and just remembered when he saw the Elliott Smith CD on my floor, or whether he found the information on the Internet moments before. I went online and read the reports.
“…where stupid shit collides with dying shooting stars.”
The news stories are the same. Who are they talking about? It can’t be the same Elliott Smith that I know – it reads like anybody died. I don’t care if anybody dies, I care that Elliott Smith is dead. Elliott Smith is dead, you wrote. Another depressed musician kills himself, what did you expect? you wrote. He sings about alcohol and drugs and depression. No. You can’t do this to him. The painful blandness of "objective" journalism. Another name expunged with the page.
“I’m never gonna know you now, but I’m gonna love you anyhow.”
I have the tendency to form a bond with people I admire, whether I know them or not. He is a celebrity. I didn’t know him. Maybe I’m delusional. A lot of people do that - imagine a connection with someone famous. Maybe we’re all delusional.
But Smith's music does something to me. It doesn’t something to a lot of us. It makes us feel. Draws sadness and love out of their two am depths no matter what time of day it is.
“Got a foot in the door. God knows what for.”
Money, fame, critical success – none of it matters. You still might plunge a knife into your chest. You still might leave people wondering why. You’ll still leave people feeling as if they stepped into a work of science fiction. They’ll still be saddened when they realize they didn’t. When it’s real. When there’s no time machine, only a light bulb breaking in our hearts.
Goodbye Elliott. We’ll miss you anyhow.
-CL
(All quotes from Elliott Smith: Figure 8, Kill Rock Stars, and XO)
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6 comments:
Elliott Smith is dead???? WTF?
I think Carrie's comment is a joke, but I also think as a Pearl Jam fan, Carrie may be a little behind the times.
He grew up in the same neighborhood I did as a kid. My German exchange student friend knew his family, and ended up buying their old Honda Civic, which theoretically Elliot had driven. The Honda Civic has also passed on, dying of an oil leak. We took many fun trips to Seattle in that car.
I believe that makes TLB three degrees away from Elliott...and four from Kevin Bacon.
This from someone still listening to The Pixies.
Oh snap! (or "touche" as they say on the East Coast)
I'll have you know, I'm listening to Kanye's album "808s & Heartbreaks" as I write this, after just switching off Cold War Kids.
How about them new references?
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