Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Difference Between a Normal Blog (like Wil Wheaton's) and The Literary Brothel


While not immediately apparent to the untrained reader, the differences between an ordinary blog and The Literary Brothel should be evident after this fair and balanced post. -KV

Normal Blog Post*

"Louigi's is yummy"

I just had some pizza from an Italian restaurant called Louigi's Italian Kitchen on Sawtelle Blvd., and it tasted great. My girlfriend likes anchovies, so we got it with anchovies. I wouldn't ordinarily get anchovies because it tastes like fish, but she likes anchovies, so we got it with anchovies, and I have to say, even though it tasted a little fishy (get it?) it wasn't half bad. Here are some pics.

[The post would be followed by a nauseating amount of idiosyncratic pictures: of Louigi's, the pizza, the blogger's girlfriend, the blogger's girlfriend eating the pizza, the blogger eating the pizza, an anchovy and the empty pizza box. Yay-4-fotos!]

Now let's see how the same incident would be handled on The Literary Brothel.

The Literary Brothel

"Where in the World is Super Mario?"


Louigi's (sic) is a tiny Italian take-out restaurant near my studio apartment in West Los Angeles. After two years of solo-dwelling, my girlfriend and I were moving in together. I had one week left on my lease, and I had never tried Louigi's.

"We should try that Italian place before we move," suggested my girlfriend.

"I hear it's not that good," I said, watching rainclouds make their way toward my window.

"You told me Lawrence liked it," she said, using what can only be described as 'her memory.'

"He said it's expensive," I replied, using what can only be described as 'my imagination.'

"I have a coupon," countered my girlfriend, seconds before we were out the door on our way to Louigi's.

We got a pizza with anchovies from Louigi's (errantly assuming the place was run by the famed Nintendo character incognito with the extra "o" in his name. Much to our disappointment neither Luigi, his brother, and nor anything resembling Yoshi were to be found) and I was like, 'woah those are big anchovies,' and my girlfriend was like, 'quit being a wuss,' and I was like, 'are you going to eat all your anchovies, because I'm looking for seconds,' and more stuff where I acted real tough, I mean, tuff...

Followed by no pictures.

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And there you have it. A brief discourse on the difference between a "normal blog post" and The Literary Brothel. I hope you learned something today. I know I have: anchovies are not for everybody tasty.

Seriously.

-KV

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* This does not apply if you are a friend of mine who blogs and posts pictures. I enjoy ALL your pics, especially the ones of people I have never met and places I will probably never go. Seriously.

6 comments:

Carrie M said...

Thanks for the half-assed footnote because some longtime Brothel readers were about to delink you permanently.

Klaus Varley said...

Oh snap! You know we loves the peppermink creek. Loves it!

Anonymous said...

You see, Klause, the thing you have to understand is that your post contained just 397 words. (431 if you include the extraneous ones) By contrast, the competitor's blog has thousands of words, even if you exclude the extraneous ones.* sure, there's something to be said for quality, but at a ratio of a thousand to one, the going will be hard. The brothel NEEDS more pictures of anchovies.

-cyter

*Using commonly accepted conversion rates.

Klaus Varley said...

More pictures of anchovies requested, more pictures of anchovies thou shall receive!

Someday.

Oh, and I suppose you know how to spell my name better than me too?

Klaus. No e.

Wait.

Okay, I guess "Klause" is probably the correct way to spell "Klaus," but who's keeping track anyway...

Laura said...

Speaking of misspellings of names, the restaurant you're talking about is actually called Louigi's, or Louigi's Italian Kitchen to be precise. The anchovies were good, if a bit large, so I want to make sure they get a shout out.

This is one of only three restaurants in all of cyberspace that spell it that way. The others are Louigi's Pizza & Pasta in Goleta, CA, and Louigi's Pizza Kitchen in Henderson, NV. For some reason, this seemed interesting enough to share.

Google asks, "Did you mean to search for: Luigi's?"

Klaus Varley said...

Double snaps! I'll have to give Louigi's Italian Kitchen it's proper due...by correcting the spelling on this post.

Ah, there. Now I can say, What Mispelling?

I mean, misspelling?

:)

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