Concert Going Ettiquette

I would like to take a break from discussing movies and cookbooks for a second to talk about a subject that is near and dear to my heart. I direct this post to all the jack-asses out there that don't seem to understand how the general admission works at a small venue concert. Let me enlighten you with a few rules.

First, you show up early. Maybe it's just my anal retentive side, but I feel like I should get there early for the closest spot to the stage. And while it doesn't make any sense to stand there for an hour waiting for the show to start, it makes even less sense to bum rush the damn stage ten minutes before the curtain goes up and get in my damn way. This is why I usually see fights break out when I get that close to the stage. Fortunately this time I was at a blues concert so the punk rockers, gang bangers, and biker men decided to stay home. With the usual suspects absent I just tolerated the idiots jumping in front of me. But I also did it for another reason: dancing.

When you are dancing in your predefined area of the floor, keep your hands and feet inside the imaginary box. Pretend you're a mime and stay there. I don't want some lady - who isn't all that attractive to begin with - throwing her hands in my face for the first half of the show.

Yes, I said "attractive." Let's face it: the amount of crap guys are willing to put up with from the girl standing in front of them is directly proportional to their attractiveness or, if they are a guy, the attractiveness of their girlfriend.

Every time I go to a concert I have to deal with one of these two problems. This last concert I dealt with them both which worked out pretty well. The guys who got in front of me had to deal with the lady throwing her arms in my face while I got to look at their girlfriend (not in a creepy way, just admiring the scenery). But I may not be so lucky in the future.

-LA


Though his analysis is amusing, both Parker and I must adamantly disagree with Langdon's attractiveness/annoyance principle. We take the exact opposite approach: the more attractive the person (guy or girl) is, the less breaks we cut them. Because hey, they've probably been getting by on their looks most of their lives. Consider it a type of affirmative action, but based on attractiveness instead of race. And reversed. Or something.

What I'm trying to say is that we're just trying to level the playing field. Seriously. -KV