Klaus Varley Explains Humor: Obama's Special Olympics Gaffe

President Barack Obama's recent misstep on Jay Leno has been reported so incorrectly by the media it warrants an entirely new series of posts: Klaus Varley Explains Humor

This isn't the first time we've had to explain humor. (Perhaps we'll go back and include the older posts in this series, but for now you'll have to be satisfied with this link to them.) And I'm guessing it won't be the last.

The press has reported that Obama compared his bowling score to those in the Special Olympics. This is incorrect. The actual joke is a bit more complicate

The Situation: Obama states he's improving in his bowling skills: he recently bowled a 129. Jay teases Obama because Obama thinks 129 is a respectable score, giving him false praise. The crowd laughs. Obama then comments on Jay's fake support, comparing JAY'S FAKE SUPPORT to people who cheer on the Special Olympics.



It's quick, and there is applause over it, but if you listen closely, you can hear Obama say while laughing, "All supportive, this is like Special Olympics or something."

Is that joke in poor taste? Probably. However, Obama is NOT poking fun of participants in the Special Olympics, he is joking about people who pretend to cheer on the participants. The difference is real. Whether it makes a difference to you, that is another question.

And thus, the humor has been explained.

-KV

Obama Learns from MILK

On Wednesday, March 18th, Obama addressed a crowd in Orange County.

Obama: I know a lot of you are outraged about this (AIG Bonuses).
Crowd: Yeah!
Obama: I'm outraged too!

Sound familiar? That is as close a politician gets to quoting from a movie without crediting the film.

Here is the scene from MILK (2008) with Sean Penn as Harvey Milk:

Harvey Milk: I know you're angry!
Crowd: Yeah!!
Harvey Milk: I'm angry!



What does this mean? It means Obama has seen MILK. Or at least watched the preview.

Or maybe Obama just knows how to work a crowd - just like Harvey Milk used to do.

-TLB

Obama's TO DO Lists

Obama's TO DO Lists

Some of you may be wondering how we here at The Literary Brothel got our hands on newly sworn in President Obama's "To Do" lists, so soon after his inauguration. Well, the truth is that Obama is a big fan of The Literary Brothel and wanted to help us get a few more hits. And by "truth" we mean, "made up story."

Anyway, what matters is that we've got 'em. However, the lists are freakin' long. So, the whole lists will not be posted. Instead, we bring you:

Obama's "To Do" lists
(Abridged)

CHANGE/FIX - ASAP!
1. Economy
2. Iraq War
3. Jump Shot
4. Guantanamo
5. Health Care
18. Book Deals for Politicians (Reminder: Check royalties from "Audacity." Someone is getting paid, gosh darnit...)
27. Education
38. The Earth
39. Hip Hop
62. Alaska
...more...

HOPEFULLY/SOMEDAY (But won't sweat if not done)
1. Gay Rights
12. Women's Rights
17. Amish Rights
36. More Black Santas in Malls
49. Remove Tax-Exemption status for Mormons, Scientologists
88. Learn Chinese
101. Find a good Civil War reenactment group to join
176. Dunk Touch the rim
209. Open Speech-Making School. Enroll Al Gore, others
598. Help Klaus get more hits on The Literary Brothel (Thanks, man!)

We're keeping our expectations low; obviously the man has a lot on his plate.

And by THE MAN we mean Barack Obama: The New Definition of "The Man."

-TLB

THE BROTHEL IS VOTING TODAY - AND SO ARE YOU - NO EXCUSES

IF YOU ARE READING THIS ON NOVEMBER 4TH, 2008 AND HAVE YET TO VOTE, STOP READING AND GO VOTE

NOW

GO

HEY, YOU'RE STILL READING

OKAY, WELL...

THIS IS THE PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION SINCE 1932

IF YOU DON'T VOTE
SARAH PALIN COULD END UP AS PRESIDENT

IF YOU DON'T VOTE
WE COULD GO TO WAR WITH IRAN

DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO?

CLICK HERE

YOU ARE A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO VOTE

TAKE YOUR COUNTRY BACK

AND VOTE

FOR BARACK OBAMA

PREFERABLY

AND "NO" ON PROPOSITIONS 4 & 8

IF YOU LIVE IN CALIFORNIA

DO IT

NOW

PLEASE

GO

THE INTERNET WILL STILL BE HERE
WHEN YOU GET BACK

I PROMISE

...

YOU'RE STILL HERE!

FINE, HERE'S A POST SCRIPT

PS.

REMEMBER

MCCAIN HATES THE INTERNET

AND BY "HATES" I MEAN

"HAS NEVER USED"

SERIOUSLY

HE IS OLD

AND OUT OF TOUCH

VOTE OBAMA

...

THIS IS REALLY THE END

ESPECIALLY IF YOU VOTE FOR MCCAIN

-TLB

Barack Obama on the Role of Government

“Government cannot solve all our problems, but what it should do is that which we cannot do for ourselves: protect us from harm and provide every child a decent education; keep our water clean and our toys safe; invest in new schools and new roads and new science and technology.”

-Barack Obama, 2008

The New Yorker on Why You Should Vote Obama

I don't usually post on the weekend NOR quote The New Yorker but tucked away in the Comment section is a little gem called "The Choice," written by the editors of the magazine. I wouldn't have read it, except that my girlfriend said "you have to read this." I do what she says. Because that's how good relationships work. -KV

"At a moment of economic calamity, international perplexity, political failure, and battered morale, America needs both uplift and realism, both change and steadiness. It needs a leader temperamentally, intellectually, and emotionally attuned to the complexities of our troubled globe. That leader's name is Barack Obama."

-The Editors of the New Yorker, Oct. 13, 2008

The Offshore Drilling Sham As Told By Fourth Graders

Below is a conversation between two fourth-graders trying to understand the gas crisis and what all this talk about offshore drilling has to do with it. It is fictional. -KV

Johnny: Democrats are stupid.

Barry: Why?

Johnny: Because they're against off-shore drilling.

Barry: They are?

Johnny: That's what my Dad says.

Barry: Where'd he learn that?

Johnny: The TV.

Barry: But I heard Obama say he was okay with it.

Johnny: Really?

Barry: Yeah, but like, as a part of a big plan.

Johnny: See, that's what I'm talking about. Against it.

Barry: Obama also said - I sound like a commercial! - that the oil companies already have 68 million acres of land that they can drill on, but are not using.

Johnny: Maybe there's no oil under that land?

Barry: Then why would they pay for it?

Johnny: They like land?

Barry: I also read that the US government already passed some bill back in 2006 allowing for offshore drilling, and nothing happened. Gas went up.

Johnny: Bullshit.

Barry: Check it out
Johnny: Oh. Well, what should we do then to lower gas prices, Mr. Smarty?

Barry: I know a plan that costs billions of dollars and might reduce the price of gas by a few cents max...but not for at least seven years, according to the government.

Johnny: That plan sucks.

Barry: That's offshore drilling.

Johnny: .... No way.

Barry: Yeah way. See?

Johnny: Hey, what's this crap about oil companies getting tax breaks...while making huge profits?

Barry: Yeah. Messed up, huh?

Johnny: How'd they manage that?

Barry: They're good.

Johnny: At screwing us...

As Barry and Johnny laugh the bell rings and recess is over. It's time to return to class. They turn off their laptops and leave the computer lab.

They grow up so fast these days.

-KV

Barack Obama "The One" in McCain Ad

Though I hate to give it more hits, check this out
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/08/john-mccain-com.html

That would be John McCain (clever YouTubers call him "John McSame") referring to Barack Obama as "The One."

First thoughts: This ad is confusing. The final words are, "He may be the one, but is he ready to lead?" Hell yes, I thought. Isn't that what "The One" does?

Second thoughts: This ad is freaking racist. From :16 to :21 the ad is black people getting excited. (oh no! watch out!) The narrator follows this with "to quote Barack..." To quote Barack? Is the narrator a friend of his? I don't recall other political ads, "To quote John (McCain)" or even "To quote Bill (Clinton)." If that's not racist, it is at least very disrespectful.

Third thoughts: This ad is not funny in the way it's intended to be funny. I can see Republicans saying, "lighten up, it's funny!" In fact, I just read that in a comment. Now I know that I can predict the future.

See what I did there? Said something remotely funny due to its absurdity. That's the type of humor this ad is going for: "People who like Obama think he will save the world. How absurd, right?"

Well, if it were true, then yes, it might be absurd. However, I know zero Obama supporters who believe this. The ad is only funny in this way to Republicans who believe Obama supporters are mindless zealots.

Last thoughts: The ad IS funny because it's so over-the-top, confusing, borderline-racist, and bitter. It shows that Republicans are getting desperate, and really hate Obama...because he inspires people.

On second thought, there's nothing funny about that.

Please watch Obama's response to these ads (including McCain's "Celeb" ad):

Time Capsule

If I put a time capsule into the ground today, it would contain the following:

-Barack Obama's Speech on Race (we're not hopeless)
-A Poster of WALL-E (animated movies take over)
-A house (they're so cheap now)
-A drop of oil (gas is expensive)
-My Prius (screw cars, I bought a bike)
-My Bike (on second thought, biking in LA is dangerous.)
-My Bus Pass (I'll just walk)
-Amazon.com's Kindle (they might use such things in the future)
-A can of Budweiser (the KING of beers)
-A can of Pabst Blue Ribbon (winner of a Blue Ribbon)
-The best computer we have on the market (so they can laugh at how primitive we were back in 2008)

and...more? This probably deserves more thought. However, if you are a high school senior, feel free to steal these and claim them as your own. What, you're already on summer break? Just dig up the old one and put this stuff in there. Believe me, no one will notice and in twenty years when you and your bored, nostalgic, middle-class classmates dig it up, you'll be praised as a hilarious prophet of the 21st century instead of a juvenile high schooler who thought "photo of a bald Brittney" was funny.

-KV

Obama draws record crowd in Oregon, and bloggers spread the word

So, here's an acquaintance's blog that covers the Obama rally this weekend pretty darn well.

http://braintransplantjournal.blogspot.com/2008/05/yes-we-can.html

That's primary source material, with some pictures and news footage. I guess that's what most blogs are: a mix of of your own photos, own thoughts and ideas combined with the "official" story. Kinda cool age were living in...

Alright, enough thinkin', just click the link above.