Fan Mail NOT An Obvious Internet Scam

FAN MAIL NOT AN OBVIOUS INTERNET SCAM
by Klaus Varley (and David Williams)

Upon first reading this letter may look like a typical internet scam. But I'm here to show you that disguised beneath it's surface language luring you to send your personal information is a heartfelt fan-letter to The Literary Brothel.

Below is the letter with translation into "fan language" in italics, and our responses in bold.

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"Please I wish to know if we can work together. "
I am a huge fan of your site and want to do a joint project.
Okay, what do you have in mind?

"I got your contact during my search for a reliable, trust worthy and honest person to introduce this transfer project to you. My name is Mr,David Williams, I am the manager of the Unicredit Bank Ghana Ltd, I wish to know if we can work together. "
You are reliable, trust worthy, and honest.
Go on.

"I am writing to solicit your assistance in the noble transfer of US$7,000,000. This fund is a result of the excess of what my branch in which I am the manager made as profit during the last years. "
I made a lot of money and I need some advice.
You've come to the right place.


"I have already submitted an approved End of the last Years report for the year 2006 to my Head Office here in Accra and they will never know of this Excess. I have since then, placed this amount of US$7,000,000 (Seven Million United States Dollars) on a suspense account without a beneficiary."
Complications have ensued.
That's what complications do.

"As an officer of the bank, I cannot be directly connected to this money thus I am compelled to request for your assistance to receive this money into your bank account. I intend to part 30% of this fund to you while 70% shall be for me.I do need to stress that there are practically no risk involved in this. "
But I want to give you money.
No, no. We'll give you the advice for free.

"It is going to be a bank-to-bank transfer to your nominated bank account anywhere you feel safer. All I need from you is to stand as the original depositor of this fund. If you accept this offer, I will appreciate your timely response. All modalities in this business will work out as soon as I receive your reply.through:(david-williams1@hotmail.com)"
Send me an email.
Wait a second, this isn't a fan letter...But it can still be a joint project!

With regards
Mr, David Williams
Unicredit Bank Accra, Ghana
This is the end of my fan letter.
Thanks for the letter, David. And welcome to The Brothel.

-KV