The Internet makes you dizzy and disoriented

THE INTERNET MAKES YOU DIZZY AND DISORIENTED
by Klaus Varley

I've spent the last fifteen minutes on the Internet, not looking for what I came online to find. (The hours the rec pool is open. These things are important.)

But I'm not going to look just yet.

Instead, I check out statistics on The Brothel, realize that the Kill Bill piece is WAY too long, and think I need to write something to bury it.

Maybe a piece about procrastination.

Damn, what did I come on the Internet to do?

Oh yeah, pool hours.

But that seems lame.

I'm just going to write a little bit.

Just a little bit.

Then look for pool hours.

...

Okay, that's a little bit.

Stop writing now, Klaus.

Look for the hours.

Look for the hours.

You're writing.

Not looking for pool hours.

Not yet.

Not yet.

Not yet.

...

Okay, now.

...

After I sign this.

And check my email.

Just one more time.

-KV