The Perfect Email For My Girlfriend by Klaus Varley

Looking over the keywords and key-phrases that landed people on The Brothel, "The Perfect Email For My Girlfriend" struck me as odd on a number of levels.

One: Nothing close to relevant comes up when you search this. The first few say things like: "this is my girlfriend's perfect ass" and when you click it, they steal all your secret codes, including your PayPal account (!)...or something...(?)...who knows, I didn't click it, I swear, I'm in the freakin' library.

Two: If your girlfriend says to you, "find me the perfect email address," there is some imbalance in that relationship. Shouldn't she be finding her own email address? And even if she asks you to help her find one, does she really need "the PERFECT" address? That's a lot of pressure. Don't do it. Get out.

Three: So you've finally landed here after losing your PayPal account (!) and read this far thinking "dude, are you going to help me out with that email address, my girl NEEDS an email address, why don't you just be cool and suggest..." ALRIGHT, I get the picture; here's some fuel so you can stay in your unhealthy situation a little longer:

Perfect Email Addresses For Your Girlfriend (but not for you)

theperfectemail@easyjoke.com

myboyfriendgotmethisemailaddress@icontrolhim.com

icouldhavegotanemailaddressmyselfbutiwantedtoseeifhe-
woulddoit@hesatool.com

ibetHeGooglesThisinsteadofthinkingofithimself@reading-
hismind.com

ifhedoesiwillputupafakesiteandstealhisPayPalAccount@thats-
calledacallback.com

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Your Welcome!

-KV